Me, as I head into a coffee shop: I usually order an extra large coffee. Today I will be prudent and order a large. Hooray for health and reduced caffeine consumption!
Coffee Shop Employee: Hi, what can I get you?
Me: I’d like a large coffee, please!
CSE: Sure, here you go.
Me: …….
CSE: Is something wrong?
Me: Oh, I’m sorry, I actually asked for a large.
CSE: That is a large.
Me: What?
CSE: That’s our large. See, this is the medium, this is the large, and this is the extra large.
Me: Oh. So this is a large? Wow. It looks so small.
CSE: OK…
Me: Sorry, I just normally order an extra large-
CSE: Well, then-
Me: Or two.
CSE: I-
Me: With a shot in each one. At least a shot. Usually two shots. Each.
CSE: Wow.
Me: Yeah. I’m coming to some hard realizations about my caffeine consumption.
CSE: So… you want me to make that an extra large?
Me: With an extra shot, please.
CAPSLOCKED AND LOADED 